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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

EFT stands for emotionally focused therapy. As the name implies, working to strengthen the emotional processes that allow us to form safe connection is how the change happens.

EFT is an evidence-based approach that helps couples move from conflict and distress to connection and security. EFT is unique in that it focuses on adult bonding as a way of understanding and alleviating relationship challenges.

Rooted in attachment theory, EFT helps to reestablish and strengthen the bond that brought you and your partner together. Our counselors work with you to make the lasting change you deserve.

By addressing the root causes of disconnect and insecurity, a stronger relationship is established and the primary areas of conflict such as money, intimacy, power and parenting can be better managed in a secure and supportive atmosphere. This approach is supported by a collection of recent studies that found:

0 %
of couples move from distress to recovery with EFT.
0 %
of couples (about) show significant improvements.

Who would benefit from EFT?

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) can benefit couples struggling with expressing and understanding emotions, helping to improve communication and manage relationship conflicts in a healthier way. EFT for individuals and families can also assist in handling tough emotions, building self-awareness, and promoting emotional well-being in relationships.

Loving Black Couple Visiting Therapy Session At Psychologist's Office

About Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

If you are experiencing relationship distress, such as feeling disconnected, lacking trust, or constantly arguing with your partner, it may be a sign that your relationship needs help. For example, if you feel like you and your partner are living separate lives and struggling to connect emotionally, it can be a sign that your relationship is in distress. This can happen when both partners are busy with work and other responsibilities, and they don't prioritize spending quality time together or engaging in meaningful conversations.

Another scenario that can indicate relationship distress is when there is a lack of trust between partners. This can occur when one partner has been unfaithful, but it can also happen when one partner consistently breaks promises or doesn't follow through on commitments.

Constantly arguing with your partner can also be a sign of relationship distress. While arguments can be healthy in a relationship, when they become frequent and intense, they can create a toxic environment that erodes the emotional connection between partners.

If any of these scenarios resonate with you, it's important to talk to a mental health professional to determine if EFT therapy is the best approach for you.

There are a lot of different approaches to couples therapy and many letters and acronyms that most people don’t understand or really care for. We get it. Couples therapy is about helping you to stop fighting and start connecting with your partner.

It may sound basic, but the therapist you choose and how they help you through this process can make all the difference. EFT distinguishes itself from other approaches by focusing on the underlying processes of emotional bonding and connection.

EFT is not about putting out fires or mediating all of your conflicts. The connection you build will allow you and your partner to do that on your own. For couples who are serious and committed to building a satisfying and connected relationship working with an EFT therapist is the right fit for you.

Our approach involves a process that includes de-escalation, restructuring, and consolidation. During the initial stages of therapy, we help couples identify negative interaction patterns that contribute to conflict and address negative emotions related to attachment issues. This process helps partners better understand how insecurities and fears may be hurting their relationship. Couples learn to be emotionally available, empathetic, and engaged with each other, which strengthens the attachment bond and safe haven between them.

During the restructuring stage, partners learn to share their emotions and exhibit acceptance and compassion towards each other. This step enhances partners' responsiveness to each other's needs and creates a more secure emotional bond, reducing conflict. In the consolidation stage, we collaborate with the couple to develop new communication strategies and practice interaction skills. This process enables couples to recognize the changes they have made and how new interaction patterns prevent conflicts from arising.

Our approach is designed to help couples identify the attachment issues underlying their conflict, express related emotions, and form deeper bonds. By the end of therapy, couples should be able to engage in changed interaction patterns learned in therapy outside of the therapy environment.

The benefits of EFT therapy include improved emotional functioning and stronger bonds between partners, as well as enhanced interpersonal understanding and increased emotional literacy and intelligence. By providing a language for healthy dependency and reorganizing emotional responses, EFT improves the emotional health of individuals and couples. EFT also emphasizes the importance of strong attachments in providing a safe haven for comfort, security, and stress relief. Individuals become more aware of their partner's needs, leading to more empathetic communication and a better-equipped ability to handle problems. Overall, EFT is a valuable therapeutic approach that can lead to numerous benefits for individuals and couples seeking to improve their emotional health and relationship dynamics.

Finding the right therapist is an important step toward receiving effective Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). EFT therapists have a deep understanding of the importance of emotional bonding and attachment between partners and are uniquely equipped to help couples strengthen their relationships. In addition to searching for EFT-trained therapists, it's also essential to ensure that the therapist is licensed in the state where the couple lives.

Another important factor to consider when looking for a therapist is their level of experience and training. Couples should look for therapists who have completed rigorous academic training and clinical practice, as well as additional advanced training in EFT. The best therapists will have also received extensive supervision hours and international recognition as Certified Emotionally Focused Therapists. Couples may also want to read reviews or ask for recommendations from friends or family members who have successfully undergone couples therapy.

The Center for Intimacy, Connection, and Change is known for its compassionate and effective approach to therapy. committed to helping couples improve their
communication, deepen their emotional connection, and create more fulfilling relationships.

Finding the right therapist is about finding someone who is not only trained in EFT but also has the experience and expertise to help couples strengthen their relationship and create a deeper emotional connection.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is a brief short-term therapy that typically takes between 8 to 20 sessions to complete. The therapy process moves through three stages, with the first stage, de-escalation, generally requiring 75% of the total number of sessions for a couple to de-escalate their emotional distress when triggered and create emotional safety outside of the therapy office. After de-escalation, the second stage, deeply connecting/bonding, utilizes all but a few of the remaining sessions set aside for the final stage – consolidating gains. It is important to note that a variety of confounding variables can increase the number of sessions needed, but the number of sessions required to achieve the desired outcomes is relatively consistent.

While no type of therapy can offer instant results, studies have shown that after 8 sessions of EFT, couples might start seeing positive changes in their relationship. However, some couples may need more sessions, ranging from 10 to 20 sessions or possibly more, to see significant progress. It is important to remember that therapy is not a race, and the timeline for EFT can vary based on the unique circumstances and issues that brought a couple to seek therapy in the first place.