Change is usually a top challenge for us humans. We are wired to be drawn to the familiar, because that is what feels the most safe.
Our routines ground us, and help us function. We have routines with our partners too. In a best case scenario, our routines with our partners support a close, loving connection. However, life will change and it is almost a sure thing that our routines will become outdated.
It is often times true that an outdated routine will no longer work for us as life changes. As we all know, life changes for us in many ways.
Change can be very positive, like a new baby entering the lives of a loving family. Or it can be a negative change, like losing a job, but the result is the same.
Many of the ways you used to connect and feel close to your partner may not seem to work anymore. The date nights become fewer and more far between. Perhaps it is more difficult to find time for sex.
Even small daily rituals may be affected. For example, doing the weekly grocery shopping alone, is very different than doing it with a baby and a toddler.
The positive feelings that used to be part of your daily routine seem to have vanished, along with uninterrupted nights and time to have conversations.
EMBRACE THE CHANGE
There are several steps you can take if it feels like this might be happening to you and your partner. The first is to acknowledge your new circumstances. Things have changed. Human beings are dynamic. We have ever evolving needs and feelings.
It makes sense that your routines and rituals will need to evolve as well.
Accepting the new circumstances can feel like a relief. Instead of wondering where the feelings have gone, you can work with your partner to come up with new ways of making time for each other.
Your partner hasn’t changed – your environment has.
INTERESTED IN TALKING TO SOMEONE ABOUT CHANGE?
If you are ready to make a change and start seeing a professional who understands these dynamics, we are here for you at the Center for Intimacy Connection and Change, located in Maryland.
We are committed to providing the highest quality services to help you establish the wellness you deserve.