There are few things more painful than feeling disconnected from the person you love. While you may share a physical space, the emotional distance can be overwhelming, frustrating and painful.
If you are tired of chasing your partner or can’t shake the feeling of “walking on eggshells” things can be different. Our therapists can help you get there.
We all long for safe and meaningful connection. We want to be seen, understood, supported and validated in a calm and safe environment. An intimate relationship can provide these opportunities, and at times it can also be the source of our deepest pain and insecurities.
It’s hard to establish the type of relationship we want and need. Often times our best efforts to try to get our needs met lead to conflict and disconnect. This can cause relationship issues.
Is it normal to fight?
There is no normal. Every relationship is different and unique. It is common to fight. You live with your partner and there are bound to be differences between you that lead to arguments. Relationships are not only emotional. There are pragmatic decisions that need to be made and you are not always going to get your way. This can be frustrating and hurtful.
Fighting amongst couples at times, while unpleasant, is inevitable. The frequency, duration and capacity to repair afterwards are better signs of relationship harmony than whether or not you have fights.
Common Issues Couples Struggle With
Communication is the most common issue couples seek counseling for. Communication issues can manifest in a wide range of ways. Most commonly, people will express hurt through anger and criticism, they shut down and withdraw or argue without a satisfactory resolution.
Often, you or your partner will feel unheard and alone, or criticized and worn down from the inability to communicate. Knowing that you can reliably communicate and reach your partner is one the most important components of a relationship.
Physical and emotional intimacy is a primary reason that we bond, connect and establish relationships. Physical intimacy is complex with a joining of different individual needs. Many couples fight and argue about the frequency, type and duration of sexual encounters.
Physical intimacy conflicts can be a manifestation of deeper conflict or can be a stand alone issue. In either case, sexual dissatisfaction and frustration can lead to significant relationship distress.
Intimate connection is only a part of a relationship. Relationships generally include managing finances, decision making, parenting and division of labor among many other topics. Having a way to resolve these issues is key to a successful and fulfilling relationship. Underneath these content areas are our need to be heard, validated and respected and when those needs are met relationships can thrive.
When a couple decides to separate or divorce their relationship does not end. Finances, assets and children as well as other factors can keep a couple connected and intertwined while uncoupling their intimate relationship. This is a complex process that can be filled with pain, hurt and sadness. Restructuring a relationship often requires support and guidance and can make a big difference in your process.