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What Keeps us Stuck in the Same Old Relationship Patterns?

As a licensed therapist here in the greater Baltimore, Maryland region, I have met many couples, individuals, and family members who tend to fall into the same old arguments. It is part of being human!

For those of us in a relationship or marriage, we have all been there. Time and time again, we find ourselves arguing with our partner about the same old thing.

Who’s turn is it to do the dishes? Who forgot to pay the latest bill? Sometimes it is even as petty as fighting about the missing cap on the toothpaste.

You are not along if you find yourself saying and doing things you would never do in public or with a friend.

You might react in a way you’d never dreamt possible during your lowest moments. It might feel frustrating and helpless when you find yourself showing up as your worst self with your partner.

What makes everything so much more difficult is this is the person you want to be your best with. This is someone who we want to treat as good – if not better – than anyone else!


The good news is this is normal. Humans are full of contradictions, and this is one of them. We crave closeness and want to feel connected.

However, the more connected and tuned in you are to someone, the more intense the feelings might be. Your partner could say the same thing a friend might say, yet it feels completely different.

It feels easy and lighthearted coming from your friend, yet somehow it feels like a devastating put down from your partner.

The difference is the feelings that motivate our actions and responses. Our partner brings up our deeper feelings and this activates our more reactive responses.

This may result in feeling “stuck” and not understanding why it is so much harder to respond differently.


If you are ready to make a change and start seeing a professional who understands these dynamics, we are here for you at the Center for Intimacy Connection and Change, located right outside Baltimore.

We are committed to providing the highest quality services to help you establish the wellness you deserve.

Schedule a free consult here, or contact me direct by emailing:

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