Complimentary 15 Minute Phone Consult

Recognizing your Partner’s Strengths for Healthier Relationships: Fairytales vs. Real Life

We all know the fairytale. It’s a tale as old as time. The handsome prince rescues the beautiful princess, slays the dragon, or breaks the spell.

They instantly fall in love and ride off into the sunset. Not a commitment issue or disagreement in sight.

No worries about rising house and childcare costs, everything just falls into place. This is the goal, the finish line.


Though, what happens after the dreamy wedding? Does the princess have a learning curve in the kitchen? Does the prince resent having to be home for dinner? In the fairytale, things fade to black. However, real life goes on in the real world.


Most folks know on some level that the fairytale isn’t real. Eventually, people realize they aren’t secretly royalty, and they’ll have to settle for another regular person. But sometimes, the expectations remain.

As a result, the first time a person has a fight with their significant other, it can feel like a really big deal. The dreaminess is gone, and real-life sets in. In real life, we don’t always act our best. Sometimes we’re tired, we’re hungry, and we’ve had a hard day at work.

All those things can lead to two people in a relationship fighting, sometimes even yelling at each other.

After a fight, a person can feel sad, cynical, and disillusioned.

They can look at the actions of their partner, and wonder if this is all a big mistake. Where did that wonderful, kind, calm person go?


If a couple has strong relationship repair skills, a conflict can be an opportunity for added closeness, and greater understanding of the other. Conflict is not only normal; it can be healthy when handled properly.

However, if an individual fears conflict, or has fairytale expectations, it can feel devastating. It can be scary to see your partner’s more human side, and even harder to accept it.

We all put our best foot forward during the dating period. However, it is in the day-to-day challenges, and being able to navigate them as a team that the real magic happens.

When you reach a place where you can accept and embrace your partner’s humanity, you’re creating a partnership that can withstand whatever challenges happen to come your way.

Fairytale relationships can be real, but they take work and commitment to create that magic for yourselves.

Vacations, time alone and romantic moments are wonderful and necessary. However, it’s when you’re holding a screaming baby at 2:00 am, wondering how you’re going to be able to handle carpool tomorrow morning that you really need a supportive partner.


The Center for Intimacy, Connection and Change is committed to providing the highest quality services to help you establish the wellness you deserve.

Schedule a free consult here, or contact Naami Resnick by emailing:

Read More