Complimentary 15 Minute Phone Consult

How to Know if Your Therapy is Actually Working

Some common thoughts that anyone who has started therapy has surely asked themselves: “How long will this take?” or “How do I know therapy is working?”

When we ask these questions to other folks, we might hear vague responses, such as:

  • “Therapy is a process”
  • “Just give it time”
  • “Relationships take work.”

They sound nice and it seems to make sense. However, there is a difference between hearing a sentence about how something is supposed to happen and actually feeling like something is happening.

People seek therapy for many different reasons, but there is one thing that remains consistent: they are all looking for something to change. The increased awareness on mental health and therapy is a positive development.

People know — or at least have heard — they are not supposed to wake up and feel sad all the time.

People seem more aware these days that constantly feeling like everyone hates you does not have to be something you accept.

With all of this in mind, they walk into a therapist’s office knowing what they do not want to continue.

They might even know what they are ready to change.


A process is defined as “a series of actions or steps taken to achieve a specific end.” Setting yourself up for a successful therapy process takes time, and often a fair amount of trial and error.

Unlike other processes you may have navigated previously, there are not clear steps that guarantee success. You are figuring out what your change process will look like as you go along. The small steps and actions you take may not feel very clear, and you may wonder if this how you are supposed to feel.

It might even happen that you leave your therapy sessions feeling sad, tired, and wondering if this is what all the hype is about.

The good news is you aren’t in this alone.

If you do experience those doubts, it is important to know that you can (and probably should!) talk to your therapist about them.

It is part of your therapist’s job description to support you, and part of that support is about processing the feelings that come up.

Your therapist is also the person you can turn to with any questions about the therapy or change process.


The Center for Intimacy, Connection and Change is committed to providing the highest quality services to help you experience the mental wellness you deserve. Our team of Maryland-based therapists are here for you.

Schedule a free consult here or you can contact me directly by emailing:

Read More