A scent. A way of speaking. A certain time of year. Something that should be normal but feels very heavy for the moment.
One of the most misunderstood parts of living with the effects of past trauma is trauma triggers. People often know, on an intellectual level, that their reaction is not appropriate for the situation. But the body still acts as if the original threat is happening right now. The rational mind and the nervous system work on completely different schedules.
This article is for people in Baltimore and all over Maryland who see this pattern in their own lives and want to know what’s really going on and what they can do about it.
Understanding triggers doesn’t mean getting rid of the past. It’s about getting enough knowledge and skill so that the past doesn’t control the present.
Table of Contents
What is a trigger for trauma?
A trauma trigger is anything that the nervous system connects to a past event that was scary or overwhelming, whether it was a sound, smell, sight, or feeling. When the cue comes up, the brain’s threat-detection system kicks in as if the original event is happening again, even though the person is safe.
This isn’t a failure of willpower or logic. It is the result of how memories of trauma are stored. Memories are normal and are organized by time, place, and outcome. Traumatic memories are frequently retained as disjointed sensations and emotions, lacking the contextual framework that would categorize them as belonging to the past. The alarm goes off when something in the present environment matches a piece.
The trigger itself isn’t usually the issue. The trigger points to the raw material.
Common triggers that happen every day
Triggers are very different for each person, but in clinical work, some groups of triggers seem to come up a lot:
Triggers for the senses
The most powerful triggers are smells, sounds, textures, and physical sensations. This is because sensory memory goes straight to the limbic system instead of the thinking brain. A certain type of lighting, a loud voice, a certain type of cologne, and background music from a certain time in life. These can cause an immediate physiological response even before the brain is aware of what happened.
Triggers between people
People who have been hurt in relationships in the past may have trauma responses triggered by tone of voice, facial expressions, being too close, conflict, criticism, being ignored, or being watched. This makes things painful in close relationships because the people you care about most often have the most access to your triggers.
Triggers based on the situation and the calendar
Anniversaries, seasons, holidays, and certain places can bring back memories in ways that are hard to understand if you don’t expect them. A lot of people notice that their mood or ability to function changes at certain times of the year, but they don’t always connect it to something that happened at the same time in the past.
Triggers from inside
If you felt a certain way during a traumatic event in the past, those feelings can become triggers. For example, a racing heart, shortness of breath, or a certain kind of fatigue can all be triggers. This is one reason why anxiety and trauma responses can seem to get worse without any clear outside cause.
How Triggers Happen in Real Life
The most obvious sign of a trigger is when you react in a way that doesn’t fit the situation. Extreme anger, an abrupt cessation, an irresistible impulse to depart, or a sensation of unreality in reaction to what another individual perceives as commonplace.
But not all triggers cause big changes. They can also look like this:
• A sudden loss of energy or drive with no clear reason
• Trouble focusing or feeling like you’re “elsewhere” mentally
• Physical symptoms that don’t have a clear medical cause, like headaches, nausea, or muscle tension
• Not wanting to be around certain people, places, or situations that used to be normal
• A feeling of fear or unease that comes back over and over again and doesn’t seem to be connected to anything in particular
The Effect on Relationships
Trauma triggers are especially harmful in close relationships because intimacy makes it more likely that they will happen. People who have unresolved trauma may become active when they are vulnerable, physically close to someone, in conflict, or dependent on someone.
Partners often have to deal with responses they don’t understand and didn’t cause. The person who was triggered may feel ashamed or confused about how they reacted over time. The partner may feel like they are being rejected, walking on eggshells, or powerless. The relationship establishes avoidance patterns concerning trigger areas, resulting in a contraction of authentic intimacy.
This is one of the most convincing reasons to deal with trauma in a therapeutic setting that includes both the individual and the relational aspects.
What Works: The Methods Used at CICC
In Baltimore, the Center for Intimacy, Connection, and Change uses trauma-informed therapy that is based on a number of proven methods, depending on the person’s needs and goals.
CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy
CBT, which is taught by the Beck Institute, focuses on the thoughts and behaviors that come up when someone is triggered by trauma. This entails recognizing the cognitive distortions that exacerbate triggered responses, developing techniques to disrupt the escalation cycle, and systematically diminishing avoidance behaviors in a secure and organized manner.
ACT stands for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
ACT changes the goal from getting rid of triggered responses to changing how you feel about them. ACT doesn’t try to fight or suppress reactions. Instead, it helps people become more psychologically flexible, which means they can experience a triggered state without being controlled by it. This is especially helpful for people who have been trying to avoid triggers for years, which usually makes them worse and keeps them going.
Therapy Based on Mindfulness
Mindfulness practices help you learn how to observe your internal states, even when they are triggered, from a distance instead of being fully immersed in them. To manage triggers, you need to be able to notice them first. You can’t stop a response if you don’t notice it first. Mindfulness-based methods also deal with the nervous system problems that cause many trauma responses.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for relational influence
EFT helps couples deal with trauma triggers that are having a big impact on their relationship by healing both the individual’s attachment wounds and the patterns the couple has developed in response to them. Mark Goldberg’s EFT certification is especially useful when one partner’s triggered responses are causing a cycle of pursuit and withdrawal in a relationship, and both partners need help understanding and changing what’s going on between them.
Things You Can Do Right Now
Therapy is the best way to make lasting changes, but there are things you can do right now and over time that will help.
After the fact, name the trigger.
If you see someone reacting in a way that doesn’t make sense, try to figure out what happened before that. Not to figure out or fix anything right away, but to make a map of your own trigger landscape. The first step to being able to deal with triggers instead of just getting caught by them is to learn how to recognize patterns.
Stay in the present
When it is triggered, the nervous system thinks it is in the past. Grounding techniques like focusing on your current surroundings, naming five things you can see, or feeling the weight of your body in a chair help your brain understand that it is in the present, not the original threat situation. These won’t fix the problem, but they can stop it from getting worse.
Talk to your partner when you’re not feeling angry.
If triggers are hurting your relationship, it’s much better to talk about what you’re going through and what helps in a calm, non-triggered way than to try to explain it while you’re reacting. Before the trigger goes off, many couples find it helpful to agree on a vocabulary and responses. This is better than trying to solve the problem in the heat of the moment.
Questions that come up a lot
Do I need to have a diagnosed trauma disorder to have trauma triggers?
No. There is a range of trauma, and many people have experiences that cause them to react in ways that are not severe enough to be diagnosed with PTSD. If triggers are making your daily life, relationships, or sense of well-being worse, you should deal with them.
What makes trauma-informed therapy different from regular therapy?
Trauma-informed therapy understands that a lot of the problems people bring up, like problems with relationships, anxiety, avoidance, and sexual issues, may have roots in past experiences that the nervous system hasn’t fully dealt with yet. It looks at these problems with an understanding of how trauma affects the brain and body, and it uses evidence-based methods that are made for that situation instead of general talk therapy methods.
Can therapy make things worse before they get better?
You may become more aware of your triggers early on in therapy, which can be uncomfortable for a short time. A good therapist works at a pace that doesn’t overwhelm the nervous system, teaching stabilization skills before moving on to more difficult material. The goal is always a slow, controlled process instead of flooding.
Where is CICC, and do you offer telehealth services in Maryland?
CICC is in Pikesville, Maryland, and serves the greater Baltimore area, which includes Towson, Owings Mills, Reisterstown, and Baltimore County. Individuals and couples who live farther away from the Pikesville office or who prefer to meet virtually can use telehealth sessions all over Maryland.
CICC in Baltimore helps people deal with trauma.
The Center for Intimacy, Connection, and Change is a therapy center in Pikesville, Maryland that focuses on this type of therapy. Mark Goldberg, LCMFT, uses CBT, ACT, mindfulness-based therapy, and EFT to help people and couples deal with the effects of trauma on their daily lives, relationships, and intimacy. He does this based on what the client needs.
If you see yourself in what you’ve read here and need help in the Baltimore area or anywhere else in Maryland, you can get a free 15-minute consultation with no strings attached.
The address of CICC is 6 Reservoir Circle, Suite 206, Pikesville, MD 21208. To set up your free consultation, call 443-835-6991 or email office@centericc.com. Telehealth is available all over Maryland.
